i've always been looking for (and looking at) this guy. nope, hindi ko s'ya kilala personally, and we haven't really talked. he's not my friend on facebook (though he is there) and i've seen his page before on facebook... pero hindi ko ni-add. yeah wala naman siguro s'yang maiisip na malisya... ang dami na n'yang friends e sa dami ng naga-add sa kanya e siguro accept nalang s'ya ng accept.
and here i am now searching again for him on facebook but the problem is i don't know his full name. heck i don't even know his real name. baka iniba n'ya name n'ya sa facebook kaya hindi nagsho-show up ang profile n'ya. or baka naka security settings. he is, or was, a blogger. wala na ang dati n'yang blog site, and i don't know if he still blogs, kung lumipat lang ba s'ya ng address or tumigil na. tamad nga ako magbasa ng mga blog but yung kanya e binibisita ko sa tuwing ginaganahan ako magbasa.
well he is... good looking. adorable. maganda ang katawan. i like the color of his skin. mukha pang malambot at masarap hawakan ang kanyang balat. soft skin on that muscle-filled, smoking hot body. yum.
yeah i had (or have) a crush on that guy. kahit medyo may grammar errors ang kanyang blog e i still read it. and i love looking at his pics. i just sooo much love the way he looks.
yeah, i am a physical person. i mean we all are right? well i'm not saying that we are capable of liking people just for how they look like. no. but what i'm saying is we are easily attracted to people who are good looking, or gorgeous enough for us. and also, we tend to do more for people who are good looking and are attracted to.
meaning pag pinanganak kang gwapo't may itsura e parang dumadali ang buhay mo.
isipin mo nalang: kung isa kang taong mahiyain pero may itsura. well mahihiya ka ngang lumapit sa mga taong medyo type mo. let's say sa isang bar. pero pag andun ka e malamang may lalapit at lalapit sa'yo. so finding a "date" or "dance buddy" would be easier for you.
kesa naman sa taong walang itsura or hindi gwapo or good looking. mahiyain na walang dating at 'di gwapo. pag tumayo ka dun at hiyain ka pa e mas malaki ang chances na walang lalapit sa'yo, compared kay good-looking guy na kahit pareho pa kay ng "pagka-mahiyain" level.
sana lang talaga e kaming mga mahiyain ng sobra e sana kami nalang nabiyayaan ng kagwapuhan.
"ano ba, huwag ka dapat maging mahiyain. sa mga taong tulad natin e dapat medyo aggressive tayo. dapat tayo ang lumalapit." may nagsabi. E MAHIYAIN NGA AKO E, ANO MAGAGAWA KO?
hindi sa wala akong ginagawa about it. i mean i've tried and i've been struggling not to be shy, pero it just gets me. i don't know. i'm someone who doesn't have that level of confidence to just walk up to someone and smile and talk to them...
"yun naman pala e, dapat matuto kang maging confident" E PAANO NGA??
"ano ba sa tingin mo ang nagpapababa ng confidence mo?"
"...how i look like."
"you know what? you should learn how to love yourself. look at the positive and improve the negative."
easy for you to say.
sa tingin n'yo e wala akong ginagawa? yeah siguro nga hindi enough pero still i am trying to do something about it, but (most of the time) i end up depressed about it. sa pagkakaroon ng magandang pangangatawan: i try to exercise and lift some weights. meron kaming onting weights sa bahay, and may exercise vcd's. i do push-ups. pero ang problema ko e mabilis akong masaktan. kahit na ginagawa ko ito dati pa e nasasaktan pa din ako. siguro mahina ang pain threshold ko.
kahit sa pag-derma. kahit ilang beses na ako nagpapa-derma e nasasaktan pa din ako sa pricking. alam n'yo ba na kahit hindi ako humihikbi e gumigilid pa din ang luha sa 'king mga mata? tumutulo ng tuluy tuloy hanggang sa matapos ang proseso. dahil nga dito e lahat ng napupuntahan ko e nilalagyan nila ng tissue or pads yung mata ko e, para lang hindi tumulo.
i'm trying, pero NAHIHIRAPAN at NASASAKTAN ako!
"hindi lahat e based sa good looks alone. nandyan din ang ugali ng tao, blah blah blah..."
oo nga. hindi ko naman sinasabing sa itsura lang umiikot ang mundo! madami pang bagay. yeah i am confident sa ibang aspeto ng buhay ko, and i think i may be interesting to some people out there. i would like to share it with someone who seems interested in me, BUT PAANO KO NAMAN IPRE-PRESENT IYON SA IBA KUNG MAHIYAIN NGA AKO? ni lumapit nga sa ibang tao hindi ko magawa. mag-add nga sa facebook e di ko magawa. makipag-usap nga e hindi ko magawa.
"...build up on confidence."
PAANO NGA?
"love yourself more..."
PAANO NGA?
i just hope there are classes like "How to be an Attractive Person Even Though You're Not THAT Attractive 101" or "How to Love Yourself More Than Anything Else In The World" or "How to Give a Flying Fuck on Every Damn Thing"
"may mga problem din sila, we all do.."
yeah lahat may problema, lahat ng nasa mundong ibabaw. SO?
"so no one's perfect..."
SO? it's not helping at all. paikot-ikot na.
"tingnan mo ako, ako nga e kahit mas mataba ako e nagagawa ko pa din lumandi..."
well good for you! i'm happy for you!
i don't know why pero i think i'll only be confident enough to walk up to someone e when i think i'm good-looking enough to do it.
siguro ipagpapatuloy ko nalang ang mga ginagawa ko ngayon.
"siguro hindi ko pa time." sabi ko sa sarili ko. "sa ngayon e focus na muna ako sa sarili ko. sa career. i'll just keep on trying to improve myself for now. gawin ko na muna ang mga bagay na gusto kong gawin but at the same time improve myself. i-keme ang aking imperfections.
kahit mahirap. kahit masakit.
shet. maswerte nga talaga ang mga taong pinanganak na gwapo...
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
wala lang
after more than 2 months ngayon lang ako bumalik. well i'm not really active in the blogging world, tamad talaga ako, i'm not even able to read blogs faithfully either. siguro lang talaga this is my outlet. more of a diary na open to the public haha... so it's really not a diary 'cause it doesn't contain everything that happens, public or private in my life. if it did contain everything e di hindi ito public diba? haha
so okay, it's more of a notebook of things that happened or what i think that anyone could just read. it's things in my life that i open up for anyone who'd be interested to read. well... kung meron nga haha. siguro nga more of like a scratchpad nga.
at ngayon ay medyo tinatamad nanaman ako... zzzzzzzzzzz
dapat tulog na ako ngayon. 2 hours nalang before oras ng pag-gising ko for work... yep 2 hours ahead dapat gising na ako kahit 15 minutes lang ang byahe via jeep. haha why? kakain, tutunganga for 5 minutes, ligo, plantsa ng buhok (yeah plancha!) at aalis ng bahay 1 hour before my log in time para makatambay saglit, yosi, kapeng instant at makipag-kwentuhan pa.
anyway tinatamad talaga ako sorry... hay hindi ako makatulog... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
so okay, it's more of a notebook of things that happened or what i think that anyone could just read. it's things in my life that i open up for anyone who'd be interested to read. well... kung meron nga haha. siguro nga more of like a scratchpad nga.
at ngayon ay medyo tinatamad nanaman ako... zzzzzzzzzzz
dapat tulog na ako ngayon. 2 hours nalang before oras ng pag-gising ko for work... yep 2 hours ahead dapat gising na ako kahit 15 minutes lang ang byahe via jeep. haha why? kakain, tutunganga for 5 minutes, ligo, plantsa ng buhok (yeah plancha!) at aalis ng bahay 1 hour before my log in time para makatambay saglit, yosi, kapeng instant at makipag-kwentuhan pa.
anyway tinatamad talaga ako sorry... hay hindi ako makatulog... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Friday, March 26, 2010
ang cute!
i was just browsing through videos on youtube ngayong hapon... kaasar naman kasi nakatulog ako pagkagaling ng work ng bonggang bongga meaning mga 5 hours na tulog, yan tuloy 4 hours nalang work na e indi pa din ako natutulog haha... pakdatshet!
anyway i was browsing through videos on youtube this afternoon and then while doing that i stumbled on a video of happyslip which is 'genie of your dreams!' ...well it's a vid about what it's like having a modern genie, you know to do things that you need, o para alagaan ka, etcetera... and what caught my attention was this guy on the vid. victor, which happens to have his own channel on youtube too..
well more about the guy, he dances! break dancing to ah! and hindi lang yan, he also sings! guitar! grabe multi-talented na, at ang gwapo pa. yay! hahaha
well yep it was 'crush' at 1st sight. (not 'love at 1st sight' ha, how can you love someone just on the 1st 'sighting' diba? haha) and also it made me realize something....
he's actually someone that i wanted to be like since like i was in high school. i wanted to be someone who can sing and dance, and i wanted to be attractive/cute also (since i wasn't blessed much in that department lol) be athletic and all that. someone with nice hair. someone like him.
and this also led me to another thought.... ano na ba nangyayari sa buhay ko? i feel like i haven't accomplished much in my life. i wanna be better, i wanna be good at something.
i know how to play piano, i sing... but then i'm not good at it. what i'm trying to say is gusto kong magkaroon ng something na i can be proud of, something that i can say i have an edge...
well okay i can cook,but i wanna be great at it.. meaning i wanna learn more...
so, ano ang balak ko? heto na:
-learn more on cooking. buy books on baking, magazines with recipes... i wanna try exploring the world of baking. the only thing i've baked so far is pizza and potatoes... i would like to trymaking my own brownies (not the instant mixes), make my own pizza dough, make my own bread. make something i can say i made from scratch...
-be more physically active. i wanna play badminton again. my badminton racket is just rotting in the corner of my room. maybe it's time that i play that sport again. i actually feel good when playing it. i'm talking about the real game with the net and everything, hindi lang yung pa-easy easy-ng laro sa kalye ha. yung may court at net.... i love that sport... i even wanted to join the badminton team in college but i just didn't. i got afraid. everyone on the team was great actually.
so under this category i'll do these:
-try to find people who also play badminton.. siguro yung mga taga-call center din like me.. HEY whoever's playing message me okay?
-jog or do exercises kahit sa bahay lang. to keep me in shape naman.
-use the piano once a week. yep, i haven't touched our piano in a long time. i guess tinamad lang ako. it's because i really felt that i wasn't excelling. like i'm still in grade 3 in piano when i should have been good at it like my cousin. maybe it's time i play again...
-plan my next hairstyle. i know that some people in the office think my hair's a disaster right now. well it didn't turn out the way it should have been. i went there with pictures and everything, but i guess i was wrong in going to that place. i should have gone back to where i've had my haircuts... tinamad kasi ako, 3 blocks lang difference, sana nilakad ko nalang... oh well. so i'm planning on having it grown longer for now. sa nakikita ko it'll turn out fine naman kapag humaba... and then kapag humaba na e i'll go plan my next hairstyle. or stick to the one i actually planned on. (yung nag-fail. haha)
-have a facial. yep i need it. pumapangit na ang balat ko sa mukha.. i should do it when the next paycheck arrives... madami ng naipon na kapangitan sa aking pores. haha chos!
good luck saken! aja!
anyway i was browsing through videos on youtube this afternoon and then while doing that i stumbled on a video of happyslip which is 'genie of your dreams!' ...well it's a vid about what it's like having a modern genie, you know to do things that you need, o para alagaan ka, etcetera... and what caught my attention was this guy on the vid. victor, which happens to have his own channel on youtube too..
well more about the guy, he dances! break dancing to ah! and hindi lang yan, he also sings! guitar! grabe multi-talented na, at ang gwapo pa. yay! hahaha
well yep it was 'crush' at 1st sight. (not 'love at 1st sight' ha, how can you love someone just on the 1st 'sighting' diba? haha) and also it made me realize something....
he's actually someone that i wanted to be like since like i was in high school. i wanted to be someone who can sing and dance, and i wanted to be attractive/cute also (since i wasn't blessed much in that department lol) be athletic and all that. someone with nice hair. someone like him.
and this also led me to another thought.... ano na ba nangyayari sa buhay ko? i feel like i haven't accomplished much in my life. i wanna be better, i wanna be good at something.
i know how to play piano, i sing... but then i'm not good at it. what i'm trying to say is gusto kong magkaroon ng something na i can be proud of, something that i can say i have an edge...
well okay i can cook,but i wanna be great at it.. meaning i wanna learn more...
so, ano ang balak ko? heto na:
-learn more on cooking. buy books on baking, magazines with recipes... i wanna try exploring the world of baking. the only thing i've baked so far is pizza and potatoes... i would like to trymaking my own brownies (not the instant mixes), make my own pizza dough, make my own bread. make something i can say i made from scratch...
-be more physically active. i wanna play badminton again. my badminton racket is just rotting in the corner of my room. maybe it's time that i play that sport again. i actually feel good when playing it. i'm talking about the real game with the net and everything, hindi lang yung pa-easy easy-ng laro sa kalye ha. yung may court at net.... i love that sport... i even wanted to join the badminton team in college but i just didn't. i got afraid. everyone on the team was great actually.
so under this category i'll do these:
-try to find people who also play badminton.. siguro yung mga taga-call center din like me.. HEY whoever's playing message me okay?
-jog or do exercises kahit sa bahay lang. to keep me in shape naman.
-use the piano once a week. yep, i haven't touched our piano in a long time. i guess tinamad lang ako. it's because i really felt that i wasn't excelling. like i'm still in grade 3 in piano when i should have been good at it like my cousin. maybe it's time i play again...
-plan my next hairstyle. i know that some people in the office think my hair's a disaster right now. well it didn't turn out the way it should have been. i went there with pictures and everything, but i guess i was wrong in going to that place. i should have gone back to where i've had my haircuts... tinamad kasi ako, 3 blocks lang difference, sana nilakad ko nalang... oh well. so i'm planning on having it grown longer for now. sa nakikita ko it'll turn out fine naman kapag humaba... and then kapag humaba na e i'll go plan my next hairstyle. or stick to the one i actually planned on. (yung nag-fail. haha)
-have a facial. yep i need it. pumapangit na ang balat ko sa mukha.. i should do it when the next paycheck arrives... madami ng naipon na kapangitan sa aking pores. haha chos!
good luck saken! aja!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
everyone happy? love is in the air? pakshet! nasaan ang akin?
ewan ko ba... ewan ko ba kung 'di ko lang napansin, or ngayon ngayon lang.. para bang lahat ng tao e masaya ngayon? para bang walang problema... weh!
uo nga, alam ko naman na hindi lahat masaya. i mean may kanya-kanyang problems din tayo, 'ika nga nila. yeah it's true, pero naman wow ha ang galing naman magtago't magkunwari ng mga tao para mapaisip tuloy ako na ako lang ang problemado't malungkot sa buhay.
hay pakshet kayo! galing nyo naman.... nagiging emo tuloy ako. chos!
oh well... and isa pa, para bang ngayon ko na napapansin lahat ng tao, and para bang everyone's beautiful in their own way... personality, mukha... para bang lahat e may capability maka-bingwit ng kani-kaniyang mga jowa.
naranasan nyo na ba yun? na para bang pag tingin nyo sa paligid e ang ganda ganda sa mata ng mga tao? na para bang ang ganda ng mundo at kayo nalang ang natirang ewan sa mundo? hay naku. emo shit nanaman ako. pakshet!
basta lahat ng ito e sa office ko naman naramdaman.. ay basta.
sa hindi nakakaalam single nga pala ako... more than 2 years na. i had 2 relationships 2007 (syempre hindi sabay no, stick to 1 to 'noh!) and dated someone too... basta 2007 na ang pinakamakulay na part ng buhay ko...
naiisip ko nga e, that was the year that i was in my best form. i mean sa katawan.. dun kasi yung time na na-addict ako sa pagpapapayat at pag-eexercise, buhat onti. ganun. and now i think hindi na ako in demand dahil tumataba na ako. or pumapangit ang mukha. ay ewan!
just by looking at this, makes me think na siguro nga talagang dapat may itsura ka pa din para naman maka-bingwit. oo alam ko may magsasabi dyan na wala sa itsura ang lahat, sa personality, spark, sa paglapit at style, ekek etcetera... pero pano naman kami na walang personality, spark, mahiyain at ayaw lumapit, walang style, ekek etcetera? siguro ang pag-asa nalang namen e ang magkaroon ng magandang mukha, katawan pata lapitan kami...
okay tama na ang lokohan. basta sa nakikita ko e i think dapat may itsura pa din tayo... i mean kung gusto naten na lapitan tayo e dapat medyo okay itsura naten, and then kapag lumapit na sila e saka natin akitin ng ating mga personality, spark, ekek etcetera....
i'm not saying na looks lang... pero para sa mga TULAD KONG TORPE AT MAHIYAN, (sobrang mahiyain, yan a naka-all caps na) na hindi talaga makalapit sa taong gusto nya at walang capability to make conversation with the one they like and walang confidence e dapat ata magpa-retoke na ako't magpa-gwapo para lapitan ako or magparamdam ang cute na guy na type ko...
okay nakikipag-usap naman ako sa mga tao, kahit na hindi ko kilala, pero what i am saying is... pagdating sa taong gusto ko, yung type ko at crush ko, e naku, hindi ko na sila makausap... talagang nagiging torpe na ako to the point na baka isipin nila e ayaw ko sa kanila. pramis!!
may isa ngang time sa office. palabas ako at papasok yung crush ko. nagkatinginan. ngumiti ang isa... at alam mo ginawa ko? WALA. medyo ngumiti ata sya (di nga ako sure kasi wala pang 2 seconds e inalis ko na tingin ko sa kanya). at ang ginawa ko? inalis ang tingin, kung nasa kaliwa ko sya, tumingin ako sa kanan habang naglalakad pasalubong sa kanya... o diba? pakshet!!! pagkalagpas ko talaga e pinagmumumura ko sarili ko. pakshet! yung na nga ang time ko para ngumiti e hindi ko pa nagawa? puta naman o...
ay basta! pakshet!!!
uo nga, alam ko naman na hindi lahat masaya. i mean may kanya-kanyang problems din tayo, 'ika nga nila. yeah it's true, pero naman wow ha ang galing naman magtago't magkunwari ng mga tao para mapaisip tuloy ako na ako lang ang problemado't malungkot sa buhay.
hay pakshet kayo! galing nyo naman.... nagiging emo tuloy ako. chos!
oh well... and isa pa, para bang ngayon ko na napapansin lahat ng tao, and para bang everyone's beautiful in their own way... personality, mukha... para bang lahat e may capability maka-bingwit ng kani-kaniyang mga jowa.
naranasan nyo na ba yun? na para bang pag tingin nyo sa paligid e ang ganda ganda sa mata ng mga tao? na para bang ang ganda ng mundo at kayo nalang ang natirang ewan sa mundo? hay naku. emo shit nanaman ako. pakshet!
basta lahat ng ito e sa office ko naman naramdaman.. ay basta.
sa hindi nakakaalam single nga pala ako... more than 2 years na. i had 2 relationships 2007 (syempre hindi sabay no, stick to 1 to 'noh!) and dated someone too... basta 2007 na ang pinakamakulay na part ng buhay ko...
naiisip ko nga e, that was the year that i was in my best form. i mean sa katawan.. dun kasi yung time na na-addict ako sa pagpapapayat at pag-eexercise, buhat onti. ganun. and now i think hindi na ako in demand dahil tumataba na ako. or pumapangit ang mukha. ay ewan!
just by looking at this, makes me think na siguro nga talagang dapat may itsura ka pa din para naman maka-bingwit. oo alam ko may magsasabi dyan na wala sa itsura ang lahat, sa personality, spark, sa paglapit at style, ekek etcetera... pero pano naman kami na walang personality, spark, mahiyain at ayaw lumapit, walang style, ekek etcetera? siguro ang pag-asa nalang namen e ang magkaroon ng magandang mukha, katawan pata lapitan kami...
okay tama na ang lokohan. basta sa nakikita ko e i think dapat may itsura pa din tayo... i mean kung gusto naten na lapitan tayo e dapat medyo okay itsura naten, and then kapag lumapit na sila e saka natin akitin ng ating mga personality, spark, ekek etcetera....
i'm not saying na looks lang... pero para sa mga TULAD KONG TORPE AT MAHIYAN, (sobrang mahiyain, yan a naka-all caps na) na hindi talaga makalapit sa taong gusto nya at walang capability to make conversation with the one they like and walang confidence e dapat ata magpa-retoke na ako't magpa-gwapo para lapitan ako or magparamdam ang cute na guy na type ko...
okay nakikipag-usap naman ako sa mga tao, kahit na hindi ko kilala, pero what i am saying is... pagdating sa taong gusto ko, yung type ko at crush ko, e naku, hindi ko na sila makausap... talagang nagiging torpe na ako to the point na baka isipin nila e ayaw ko sa kanila. pramis!!
may isa ngang time sa office. palabas ako at papasok yung crush ko. nagkatinginan. ngumiti ang isa... at alam mo ginawa ko? WALA. medyo ngumiti ata sya (di nga ako sure kasi wala pang 2 seconds e inalis ko na tingin ko sa kanya). at ang ginawa ko? inalis ang tingin, kung nasa kaliwa ko sya, tumingin ako sa kanan habang naglalakad pasalubong sa kanya... o diba? pakshet!!! pagkalagpas ko talaga e pinagmumumura ko sarili ko. pakshet! yung na nga ang time ko para ngumiti e hindi ko pa nagawa? puta naman o...
ay basta! pakshet!!!
ang simula...
bagong blog. bakit? wala lang. weh...
malamang e para lang mailabas ang mga naiisip ko sa pang-araw araw... mga tipong ka-pakshet-an lang sa buhay, at onting kabaklaan na naiisip. haha chos!
basta.. kung ano man ang mabasa n'yo e itago nalang o ibaon sa limot, o sa ataul ni lola. huwag ikalat. okay?
malamang e para lang mailabas ang mga naiisip ko sa pang-araw araw... mga tipong ka-pakshet-an lang sa buhay, at onting kabaklaan na naiisip. haha chos!
basta.. kung ano man ang mabasa n'yo e itago nalang o ibaon sa limot, o sa ataul ni lola. huwag ikalat. okay?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)